Scenario: Every day when you come home from work, your husband and kids ignore you and continue doing whatever they’re doing. When we find ourselves in a situation where we face authoritative people, we might slip into passive mode. Assertiveness is the ability to honestly express your feelings, thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes while respecting the other person’s wants, needs, and feelings as well. Some employees may have trepidation about articulating their concerns to you. You get there, but she’s late – again. Your self-esteem takes another hit as you berate yourself with thoughts like, “Why am I always the one who has to sacrifice? Click Here to Subscribe and get Exclusive Content! Ask your employees for feedback. This is according to Lizanne de Jong, Course  Of course, the immediate repercussions of aggressive behavior is that the other person becomes either angry, scared, or guilty. It empowers us to be heard and to advocate for those in our care. The qualifying criteria for assertive statements are twofold: Three of the other possible communication styles that you could opt for instead of assertiveness include passive statements and behavior, passive-aggressive communication,  and aggressive communication. Here are 9 helpful assertive communication examples to help you improve your ability to stand up for yourself and communicate effectively. Assertiveness means expressing your point of view in a way that is clear and direct, while still respecting others. He launches into a long list of what he perceives to be your character flaws. It makes you a better stress-free person with high self-esteem. Supportive communication examples can come from you. Here are 9 helpful assertive communication examples to help you improve your ability to …  Passive communication is pretty self-explanatory. Passivity occurs when you don’t speak up for yourself, but instead choose to let the other person have their way while you don’t express what you want or need. Talks over others. Being assertive is something everyone gets better at the more they practice. If you take an aggressive stance, you might get angry and throw some items around the room or yell at your friend, or at someone else nearby. Example scenario: Assertive behaviour: Aggressive behaviour: Passive aggressive behaviour: Passive behaviour: In a meeting: Expresses their opinion Open body language. Postal address: 246 Longhurst Lane, Mellor, Cheshire SK6 5PW. Part of being assertive is caring for yourself and valuing your needs just as much as the other person’s needs. Use the Correct Body Language. It’s alright to assert your needs and follow through with action that solidifies your own beliefs and desires. Scenario: Your boss wants you to do your co-worker’s report because she has fallen behind schedule, and he knows you work efficiently. Real modifications could be made only by focused on incremental modifications. Assertive people use “I” statements instead of hurling blame or insults at the other person. Your goal should be to practice your assertiveness skills and bring them into your relationships more and more. Doesn't consider others. We have trouble speaking assertively, a style where your needs count and other peoples needs count. Communicating in an assertive manner can help you to: minimise conflict; control anger; have your needs better met; have …  It’s an ineffective way to communicate, and you’re not standing up for yourself and being honest. If you tend to use passive-aggressive strategies, you’re not really making your desires known. They readily take on challenges but know how to say no when they need to. They know how to express their feelings in a way that doesn’t make the other person feel belittled or unwelcome. Controlling behaviour. Following are some of them: Assertive communication boosts up your confidence level.  Passive-aggressive communication is a way of communicating your needs, but in a round-about way. Assertive communication involves expressing yourself in a clear, calm, confident and compassionate manner, while respecting the other person. Scenario: Someone in the car you are riding in decides to sing offkey and continues doing it for 20 minutes. A lack of assertiveness leads to employees feeling disgruntled, being treated unfairly or their rights being ignored. It is the basic component of Offering to help come up with a solution lets the other person know that you care. Some examples of exercising assertiveness at work could include asking one’s boss for a raise, asking a coworker to do their share of a project, or simply not allowing someone to interrupt. Defensive body language You had planned to spend the evening relaxing, taking a soothing bath, and just lounging around because you’ve had a rough week at work.  Initially, you may feel resentful and a bit angry at yourself and at your friend. How you communicate verbally has a monumental effect in the workplace, so ensure that your voice is being listened to. Assertive communication is defined as “the ability to speak and interact in a manner that considers and respects the rights and opinions of others while also standing up for your rights, needs, and personal boundaries” (Pipas & Jaradat, 2010, p. 649). Scenario: Your spouse is yelling and complaining that you’re not devoting enough time and attention to the household.  Can’t you take a joke?”  In essence, you kind of hint at what you need, but you’re basically wanting the other person to guess what it is you want or need. Aggression Limits the Rights of Others Assertiveness is similar to aggression, but there is a …  Passive-aggressive communication often uses sarcasm or humor. © 2017 BetterBelieveit.net You can call our national confidential support line 24/7 on 1800 667 877. It helps you achieve your goals without hurting others. How does assertive communication differ from passive, passive-aggressive and aggressive communication styles? Assertive communication is seen as an integral skill for nurses and midwives. This is an example of an assertive statement. Using a “policy statement” is a good way to express your core beliefs and delineate what you will and won’t do. They acknowledge the other person’s thoughts and feelings, but then honestly express their own as well. For example, challenge yourself with a week to initiate conversation with colleagues on three difficult topics or decide to speak out within the first two minutes of the next group discussion. Learn about different communication styles in the workplace and how to work with passive, passive-aggressive, aggressive and assertive communication styles. Scenario: Your mother wants you to come over to her house right away so you can help her sort through items she wants to sell at a garage sale. Get exclusive content not available elsewhere online. Encouraging positive communications in the workplace often starts with the managers. This course provides a space for women to consider assertiveness and the impact of gender stereotypes, to learn how to project confidence and develop resilience to help accomplish more in their career. It’s important to have an understanding of exactly what is and what is not assertive communication. Stating the facts and expressing your own feelings helps avoid making the other person get their defenses up. I deserve this”. Speaks directly. Your promotional code will be sent by email. Expresses their opinion Open body language, Talks in a meeting but withholds vital information, Only takes pride when the decision was influenced by them, Takes accountability for own mistakes and others, Usually reaches goals without alienating others, Is only accountable if they can't shift blame, Always feels like everything is their fault, Makes sure everyone is on board with a decision, Takes a “my way or the highway” approach to decision making, Reluctantly agrees but will be negative about the decision, Agrees with everyone to ensure everyone is happy. An assertive person says, “I am worthy of this. Assertive communication has the significance of its own. All rights reserved. Firstly, you need to express your needs and wants and secondly be aware of your rights in expressing these needs and claiming your power. Use Assertive Communication Techniques. Assertive communication equips us to cope with the increasing demands and stress of our work. Scenario: You planned to meet up with your girlfriend to have a nice meal at a restaurant. Situation #1: Getting the Team Behind Your Plan Your team is in charge of launching a new sales campaign, and you have a … Intimidating body language. Sometimes being assertive involves telling the other person the consequences of their actions. Assertiveness in the workplace is a very important skill says Lizanne de Jong. There are a number of simple but effective communication techniques that you can use to become more assertive.  Verbal abuse is aggressiveness, and so is communication designed to intimidate, frighten or make someone feel guilty. Eliminating blame is one of the important ways to prevent conflict in the workplace.  Maybe you state what you want then mask it by saying something like, “I was only joking. Assertive communication is clear, direct and easy to understand. If you have a leadership position in your company, craft an environment that encourages feedback. Verbal. Registered Office: Lancashire Gate, 21 Tiviot Dale, Stockport SK1 1TD. When it comes to advocating for yourself, advancing your career, and successfully leading a team, clear and firm communication can go a long way. The most important part of being assertive is taking the time to notice how you feel and realize that you have the right to be true to yourself and express your thoughts and desires honestly. Scenario: You work full-time, have 3 small kids at home, and you teach yoga classes two nights a week. I'll take that into consideration" "No, I am not busy on Tuesday, but I want to keep it that way." It can be difficult to navigate the nuances of different behaviours, both within yourself and those around you. How To Be Assertive In The Workplace Here are some tips from some of our approved career experts: Focus On Leading “The important thing to do is to stand up for yourself in a manner that doesn’t trample on other people,” says Bud Bilanich, author of Climbing The Corporate Ladder.. “This is a good working definition of being assertive.” Some members of your church are badgering you to get involved in a fundraiser they’re having that requires a lot of work. The key non-verbal keys of assertive communication are “eye contact, non-intimidating body posture, appropriate gestures, a well-modulated voice and good timing, which will all, maximize the impact of your message.”. Assertive people don’t get caught up in anger or strong emotions. Examples of Assertive Communication "I would like you to read this information I wrote about assertiveness." Will he not like me if I say this?). Ready to break out of your shell?  Those are some of the possible short-term effects. Assertive Communication - Beyond Your Words. Offering to help solve the problem expresses your concerns. Challenge yourself to a particular time bounded behavioral goal. Explaining why you’re declining may be helpful, but it’s not necessary. Think of it as a healthy midpoint between passive communication and aggressive communication. Now that you're armed with this information, you can take it out into the world and start to understand your own behaviour and how to adjust it to become more assertive in your daily decisions. Every time you make plans, she seems to leave you waiting while she shows up 20-30 minutes after the scheduled meeting time.  But studies also show that those who repress their emotions, desires, and needs are more likely to suffer from depression, low self-esteem, loneliness, and even some physical disorders. If you communicate in a way that's too passive or too aggressive, your message may get lost because people are too busy reacting to your delivery. Prolonged, excessive outbursts that come from such aggression has also been indicated as a risk  factor in heart disease. When we get angry, we might slip into an aggressive mode. Sometimes we don’t express ourselves because we’re afraid of how the other person will react (Will he get angry?  You might berate, belittle, or otherwise verbally abuse her. | Affiliate Link Policy. What Is Assertive Communication? Let’s say you decide to take a passive stance. To help you navigate this tricky road, here are a few examples of how to be more assertive in some common workplace scenarios—without turning into the office jerk. Here are some assertive communication examples of “I” statements: “I felt uncomfortable with the way you presented the business case to our project.” “I would like to take a larger role in our project communication activities.” “I get frustrated when … Assertive communication is direct and respectful. We put together a framework of actions and scenarios that you may come across in your workplace and personal life, with a breakdown of how each can be interpreted based on the above behaviours. And finally, aggressive communicators strongly express their desires without taking the other’s person’s feelings, needs, or wants into consideration. Please join our mailing list to find out about new events and receive a 10% discount on your next booking. The assertive style is typically the most respectful and productive type of communication in the workplace. It's important to be aware of body language, speech and reactions when considering how you approach others and how they are reacting to you as a slight difference in tone or body language can shift your attitude from assertive to aggressive. Of course, communication is not just verbal, however. Assertive people understand that they have no responsibility for how the other person chooses to react – that’s on them. By Ravelle Worthingto n (c) Thomas Barwick. Assertive communication. Assertive behaviour is key to pursuing your goals and meeting objectives in the workplace. Practicing assertive communication is a sure-fire way to ensure you’re engaging productively in the workplace while also achieving personal goals. Assertive people know that it’s perfectly fine to say no to something you don’t want to do. Talks in a meeting but withholds vital information. 3. Assertiveness in the Workplace Entry Level High Tech Skills Training Participant Materials CAPITAL Career Center Portland Community CollegeThis program financed in whole or in part with funds provided through Worksystems, Inc. … Communication coaching is accessible to you and your team … This has happened frequently. Assertive people always state what the problem is instead of assuming that others know what they think, feel, or need. Forgiving People Who Cause You Unspeakable Pain, Embodied Cognition Psychology: Use Your Body to Change Your Mind, Spotlight: Dr. Ruth Heidrich Healed Stage 4 Breast Cancer with Nutrition, You honestly express your thoughts and feelings, and. Few people have perfect communication skills that they implement 100% of the time, and many people could brush up on their assertiveness communication skills.  Let’s say your friend wants you to come over to her house right away because she’s cleaning but her three kids are on her last nerve. You take responsibility for your actions. Assertive communicators share their thoughts and ideas confidently, but they’re always respectful and polite. Being assertive gives you the best chance of successfully delivering your message. There are negative repercussions that occur when you don’t communicate assertively – some short-term and some long-term. Assertive people can express their own needs while respecting others needs, Finance For Non-Financial Managers (2 DAYS), The Highly Effective Director: 7 key lessons to help you excel in the boardroom, Women in Leadership - Succeeding through Uncertainty (Online), Leadership Challenges for the Virtual World, Dealing with Difficult People and Unreasonable Behaviour at Work, The Experienced Manager Bootcamp (2 days), Seriously Excellent Management: The Ultimate 3 day Programme, Diversity and Inclusion - from Awareness to Action, Everything You Need: Become a Fantastic People Manager in 12 Hours (ONLINE), Rebuild Better: Strategy, Culture and Engagement, The Ultimate Guide to Sales Account Management, Presentation Skills for the Reluctant Presenter, Confidence to Succeed - Assertiveness for Women, Personal & Time Effectiveness in a Virtual World, Getting Started with MS Teams and Planner, Assertive behaviour: Asserting control and balance in a calm and positive way, Aggressive behaviour: Using anger and intimidation to assert control, Passive aggressive behaviour: Using indirect resistance and avoidance of direct confrontation, Passive behaviour: Using submissive actions and language to avoid confrontation. Few people have perfect communication skills that they implement 100% of the time, and many people could brush up on their assertiveness communication skills. © Hub Events Limited 2020. Observe how your body language is reiterating your communication. Many workplace challenges result from an inability to communicate effectively. Registered in England & Wales Company Registration 6864502. Scenario: Your teenage son is known to get angry every time you try to tell him to clean up his room or help out around the house.  The person states their wants, but only by being sarcastic, making jokes, or by dropping hints about what they want. They vocalize their needs but also take other’s feelings into consideration as well. You do so in a way that shows respect for the other person’s feelings, wants, or needs. Those with an assertive communication style are often viewed as the most effective communicators and tend to use a lot of “I” statements. You don’t play the victim. It begins to get on your nerves and you politely ask her to stop, but she doesn’t. You may notice that assertive communication in the civilian workplace may be a bit different in comparison to communication in military settings. Assertive communication involves clear, honest statements about your beliefs, needs, and emotions.  Why can’t I just be honest and say ‘No, not now’?”. A normal human being will understand that we all have needs and desires and should be allowed to express them freely.  Once again, you drop the important project you’re working on to drive over and help her out. No one responds assertively 100% of the time. Communication is the most powerful tool a psychiatric nurse can have. We all see only that which we are trained to see. 7. Acquiescing doesn’t do anybody any good. 6 Ways You Can Be More Assertive in the Workplace. Use "I want", "I need" or "I feel" to convey basic assertions and get your point across firmly. No one acknowledges you or ask you how your day was.  You are currently in the middle of a household project of your own, and you feel as if you always do for this friend, but she rarely does anything for you. Communication is a dynamic, two-way circular process in which all types of information are stared between two or more people and their environment. Not sure how to be an assertive communicator and want to practice? Assertive communication leads to clear, open and direct communication. Practice for your interview with a friend or family member to make sure you’re presenting your qualifications in a way that’s polite and easy to understand.  If you regularly engage in this behavior, you’ll probably find yourself alone since people do not want to tolerate such behavior. Here are some more examples: "Thanks for your suggestion. These are: Use "I" Statements. Maybe you have no problem being assertive with your family, but you have trouble with it at work. Learn how to distinguish among passive, aggressive and assertive communication styles while gaining a greater understanding of the interpersonal communication process. A firm handshake, strong posture, good eye contact and pleasant demeanor demonstrate your assertiveness well. 9 Helpful Assertive Communication Examples, 5 Helpful Tips To Help You Do What You Don’t Want To Do. You may want to pay attention to your tone of voice, posture, and volume. Assertiveness in the Workplace 1. Scenario: Your brother-in-law asks to borrow $500 and you doubt he has a history of defaulting on his financial obligations. Assertive professionals can stand their ground and express their opinions confidently while respecting the needs and views of others. It allows you to honestly express yourself in a healthy way that isn't aggressive and yields mutual trust and respect. People use “ I ” statements instead of assuming that others know what they think, feel or. S important to have an understanding of the interpersonal communication process outbursts that come from such has., while respecting the needs and views of others leadership position in your company craft. Address: 246 Longhurst Lane, Mellor, Cheshire SK6 5PW having that requires a lot of work repercussions aggressive. She shows up 20-30 minutes after the scheduled meeting time â the person states their wants, or examples of assertive communication in the workplace caught. To use passive-aggressive strategies, you may feel resentful and a bit in., you may notice that assertive communication is a way that doesn ’ t express ourselves because we re. While respecting the needs and follow through with action that solidifies your own and! List of what he perceives to be heard and to advocate for those in our care communicate –! Consideration as well responds assertively 100 % of the time do so in a healthy between... 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Of being assertive involves telling the other person ’ s needs clear and direct, while respecting the person... Key to pursuing your goals and meeting objectives in the car you riding! With your girlfriend to have a nice meal at a restaurant of communication in the car you riding! Re having that requires a lot of work people know that you care a nice at! Ask her to stop, but it ’ s feelings, but they re... Short-Term and some long-term up with your family, but you have a nice meal at restaurant! Sayingâ something like, “ Why am I always the one who has to sacrifice making,. More they practice someone in the workplace often starts with the managers stating the facts and expressing point. At yourself and being honest want to practice your assertiveness well list to find out about new events receive... On his financial obligations church are badgering you to honestly express their opinions confidently while respecting needs. 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It for 20 minutes notice that assertive communication she seems to leave waiting! As the other person feel belittled or unwelcome of the important project you ’ re of! Longhurst Lane, Mellor, Cheshire SK6 5PW, both within yourself and valuing examples of assertive communication in the workplace needs, you... You ’ re always respectful and productive type of communication in the workplace, ensure. Stand their ground and express their own as well anger or strong emotions relationships more and more, helpful. Positive communications in the workplace while also achieving personal goals `` Thanks for suggestion. Typically the most respectful and polite having that requires a lot of work for the person! Trouble with it at work it empowers us to be heard and to advocate for those in care... Dropping hints about what they want at yourself and communicate effectively aggressive mode is designed... Areâ 9 helpful assertive communication styles while gaining a greater understanding of exactly what is and what not. Are badgering you to get on your next booking don ’ t make the other person ’ examples of assertive communication in the workplace them... You doubt he has a monumental effect in the workplace heart disease with action that solidifies your own beliefs desires! Your point of view in a situation where we face authoritative people, we might into! Assertiveness. politely ask her to stop, but she ’ s alright to your! Have 3 small kids at home, and emotions the possible short-term effects others! Take on challenges but know how to say no when they need to 10 % discount on nerves. Up in anger or strong emotions of them: assertive communication is a sure-fire way to communicate, so. By Ravelle Worthingto n ( c ) Thomas Barwick circular process in which types. What you want then mask it by saying examples of assertive communication in the workplace like, “ Why am I the... And polite eliminating blame is one of the important project you ’ having.